As Green as Green Could Be
by Duke Statian
Summary: A short story of Chise's encounter with the legendary Green Knight of Britain. After she summons him via a magical horn that Elias shouldn't even have, they have no choice but to offer him afternoon tea to quell his grumpy mood. To read the illustrated version find Wicked Lance on Twitter or my Deviantart, Duke-Statian.


**The Ancient Magus' Bride: 'As Green as Green Could be'**

* * *

"I don't think you should be rummaging around in there, Chise", Ruth warned as he sniffed around the door frame.

"It's the cupboard under the stairs", Chise replied as she knelt down to look through the old stuff that cluttered it. "It needs sorting through".

"You'll find more than the odd broom or dead mouse, I'm sure", Ruth said in a nonchalant manner. "There's a reason why this cupboard hides itself when Elias is away".

"Oh hush", Chise said then got down on her hands as well. "Does it have a light inside?"

"No", Ruth said bluntly as he looked up to find a switch but to no avail.

Chise pushed some things out the way and her hands got covered in thick dust. "I bet nobody's opened this in decades", she said through a sneeze. "It's disgusting in here".

"I'm sure it's slipped his mind by now", Ruth replied then glanced back to see Silky walking by. "What's in this cupboard?"

Silky looked at them, cocked her head then shrugged her shoulders like she didn't even know it existed.

"Ooh, what's this?" Chise wondered as she pulled out an odd shaped thing wrapped in parchment paper. She crawled back out of the cupboard and sat with her back to the door frame with the thing in her lap. Ruth sniffed it and also sneezed.

"It smells like really stale herbs and grass".

Chise tentatively unwrapped the thing with care and discarded the wrappings.

"A ram's horn?" she murmured to herself as she turned the curling instrument over; the sharp end had been fashioned into an opening and a brass fitting ran around the brittle keratin of the hollowed horn at either opening.

"It's old", Ruth stated simply. "Very old".

"What's it for?"

"How would I know?"

Chise stood up and forgot about the open cupboard behind her. "Wait, it's got some letters carved in the brass part", she almost exclaimed. "Can you read them?"

Ruth craned his neck and gazed at the lettering. "No, this is older than me I'm afraid".

"Will Elias know?"

"Will Elias want to why you were snooping around his stuff? Yes", Ruth replied sarcastically.

"Good point", Chise said then closed the cupboard, picked up the fallen wrappings and dashed upstairs to her room. Ruth shook his head but followed anyway.

"You'll ask the Neighbors?"

"Naturally", Chise replied then placed it on her desk. She closed her eyes for a moment. "A nature spirit will do", as a Hawthorn Sprite leaped down from the aether.

"Hello there", the rounded fae squeaked as he landed on her shoulder.

"Hi, could you help us? Please?"

"Ooh, what have you got there I wonder?" the fae mused then he clambered off Chise's shoulder and trotted along the desk. He peered at the horn and tapped it in numerous locations.

"Can you translate these words for us?" Chise asked as Ruth attempted to sniff the little fae.

"Hmm… Sure, but what will you give me?"

Chise looked up in thought just as Ruth turned then left the room abruptly and returned moments later with a jar of honey and a spoon.

"Ooh, that'll do just fine!", the fae said excitedly. Ruth gave Chise the honey and spoon and she opened the jar with a 'pop'.

"I think Silky was saving this", she said then took a heaped spoonful and fed it to the sprite.

"Yum!" he said with a mischievous grin then he discarded the empty spoon which clattered on the table and turned back to the horn; savoring the sweet honey as it lasted. "Let's take a look-see, shall we?"

"Be my guest".

The sprite ran his finger along the lines and read: _"When sounded, so shall appear a Green Knight of old. Beware, she who walks the foggy night shall deem thee bold"._

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chise asked and the sprite shrugged his little shoulders.

"Beats me. Try it and find out", he giggled then leaped out through the open window. "Thanks for the treat!"

Chise looked at Ruth and he shook his head. "But I don't learn if I don't try, right?"

"Well, I'm having nothing to do with it", Ruth replied then left the room with a swish of his tail. "Do as you wish but don't blame me".

"I will!" Chise called back before turning her attention to the horn. She picked it up and went to the open window. "I guess it's as simple as it looks".

Chise took a deep breath then held it up and blew into the ancient horn; it wailed and resonated throughout the house more than it did the open air. After she ran out of puff, Chise lowered the horn and waited while gasping for breath. She glanced at the clock in her room then looked around before being startled by the snapping of branches around her.

"What on earth?!" she exclaimed as branches pivoted upwards from the floor while a ring of leaves and grass encircled the glowing green light. A number of branches moved on their own, then, during the sudden growth of vegetation, it looked at Chise with a masked face that was carved like a fox. It leaped out of the circle and scampered off. The greenery grew thicker until it covered the entire room, then little mushrooms and mosses began to spring up until a wild garden had taken over her humble dwelling.

"My sincere apologies for the delay, your Majesty. I was chasing a Dryad and…" a warm yet mighty voice said as if it was speaking from beneath a helmet.

Chise glanced back to the little grove that had grown in her room from beside the window and there stood a tall man in a suit of armor with a glorious deep green cape and matching plume of silky horsehair.

"Oh, wait a second. You're not my Queen", the knight said and scratched his head, or helmet. "How did you get a _Green Horn_?"

"A green what?" Chise said in awe as she looked the man up and down; she wasn't as shocked as she could have been.

"Don't tell me you've found the recipe? I thought we destroyed it", the knight tutted then stepped out from the fairy ring and it began to die back and disappear into the floorboards. "Summoning me is unwise, human".

"Are you a fae?" Chise asked as she circled around him to get a good look.

"Fae? No, I am a man. Well, no not really", the knight tried to explain. "I'm not really anything except a heap of steel and nice clothes, oh and a bit of magic".

"W-what?" Chise stuttered as she stopped before him.

The knight sighed then walked over to her bed and sat down like he owned the place. "You foolish girl, you shouldn't have summoned me…"

"Chise?! Why are there roots growing from _my_ ceiling?" Elias shouted from downstairs. "And what the hell was that noise?"

The knight looked up to the door, "I recognize that voice", he said as Elias appeared and popped his head around the frame.

"Bercilak?" Elias said, shocked. "How are you-" he began then looked to the Green Horn in Chise's hands; she promptly hid it behind her back and grinned.

"Ainsworth? How good to see you. This little cretin summoned me, with a Green Horn you shouldn't have", the knight called Bercilak said then folded his arms.

Elias shook his head in disappointment. "It's my fault. I never mentioned this to her".

"Is she the apprentice that I've heard so much about?"

"Yes-yes", Elias replied then turned out of the room and beckoned him to follow. "Now that you're here we might as well welcome you to our abode".

Chise heard him mutter: _"You are in so much trouble when he's gone",_ under his breath as he walked away.

"Please, take a seat", Elias gestured to the armchair as Bercilak clunked into the living room. "I will see to it that the Silver Lady brings us some tea".

"That's very kind of you", Bercilak replied as he drew a glowing glyph in the air then suddenly transformed in a flash of vibrant light. His armor had changed into a dashing green waistcoat and dark gray formal trousers. He promptly took a seat and folded his arms like he was grumpy.

"Y-your head is still…"

Bercilak looked up at Chise then cocked his still helmeted head. "This _is_ my head. I said before, I am made of steel".

"You're a suit of armor?" Chise inquired as she took a seat opposite him. Elias returned with a cake stand then placed it on the table.

"Once again, I must apologize. My apprentice here found the Green Horn that I had stowed away carefully".

"He put it in the cupboard under the stairs", Chise said directly to the knight.

"A magical cupboard", Elias tried to correct her but Bercilak shook his head.

"No matter, I am here now so I may as well make the most of this outing".

"I trust her majesty didn't have need of you?" Elias asked to ascertain the gravity of the situation.

"No, not particularly. I was chasing a pesky Dryad that keeps trying to steal my axe", Bercilak explained with a casual dismissive wave of his gloved hand. "I'm not needed until tonight when we host a dinner party at Hautdesert Castle".

"I think it ran through the house", Chise added as Silky came in with a tray of tea and set it down before them.

"Thank you, Silver Lady", Elias said and looked back to the knight. "Now, I suppose I should formally introduce our guest here to you, Chise. This is Sir Bercilak de Hautdesert, the legendary Green Knight of Great Britain".

"I think I've read a story about you", Chise said as she perked up at the familiar name. "It was in Elias' study".

"It's probably false. I never knew King Arthur before you ask".

Chise shut her mouth before she could ask that very question.

"Now, who might you be?" Bercilak asked.

"I- I'm Chise Hatori, Elias' apprentice", Chise stuttered even though she expected the question.

"Hatori? Hmm, how foreign", Bercilak pondered with a finger to his chin although he didn't seem to care. "Now, may I ask, dear _Elias_ , why do you still have a Green Horn?"

Elias pulled at his collar awkwardly. "You could say that I kept it in case of an… emergency. After all, you are the protector of the realm, are you not? It's no different to having telephone boxes on every street if you get what I mean".

"Telephones do not summon the Champion of Tír na nÓg", Bercilak said bluntly then folded his arms again. "Unless you connect to the Sprite-Line but that's irrelevant".

"I thought we were over the whole grumpy thing?" Chise said and Bercilak's shoulders sagged.

"Yes, I suppose you're right", he replied then leaned forward and poured some tea now that it had brewed. He took a little sugar but no milk then held it up to his visor. "Why don't we discuss other matters?"

"Matters?" Elias asked as he poured some tea for Chise and himself.

Bercilak opened his visor and tipped the tea back and it disappeared into the infinite abyss that was his head. He downed the whole cup then sat it back down and closed his visor. "Yes, what's happened since I was last here?"

"Bercilak, the last time you were here, Queen Victoria was on the throne", Elias said. "Do be more specific".

Chise held up her hand to speak and both Elias and Bercilak looked to her and listened. "I met some dragons".

"That sounds wonderful. I hope they were nice", Bercilak said warmly. "I have had to slay the odd one or six".

"Oh, uh… these ones were nice to me".

"I'm glad they're doing well", Bercilak said with a nod of his head. "Elias, tell me, has that beast Cartaphilus returned at all? I haven't paid him back for when he stole my head".

"Unfortunately, we encountered him a while back".

Bercilak held out his hand and an axe grew out of vines that suddenly burst from the rim of his cuffs. "Do tell me if you get the chance, I'd love to-" he began eagerly but Chise held up her hands to calm the situation.

"Whoa, no weapons in the house! Silky will have a fit".

"Oh, alright", Bercilak sighed then he placed the strange axe by the side of his chair. He glanced at the arrangement of cakes then took a plate and served himself a scone without cream. Like before, he opened his visor and dropped it back where it disappeared into the inky gloom.

"Don't you like dairy food?"

"I'm lactose intolerant", Bercilak said as he closed his helmet again. "That was nice".

Elias leaned in and whispered: _"He eats a lot when he's in a bad mood. He also serves himself first to make a point of it"._

"How can a suit of armor be intolerant to dairy products?" Chise inquired after acknowledging Elias.

Bercilak looked at her blankly. "I suppose it's a habit from when I was alive".

Chise frowned, "so you weren't always a suit of armor?"

"Of course not!" Bercilak chuckled then served himself yet another scone. "I was a man but I got shot and died. It was by a nasty poison, quite painful".

"Oh, that's cheerful", Elias scorned the knight as he sipped his tea. Chise held the warm cup in her hands and thought.

"I suppose it's not right to pry", Chise murmured, mostly to herself.

"It is what it is, I am what I am", Bercilak said to cheer up the mood. "I do enjoy being immortal though", he mused then pulled his head right off and held it up above him. "See?"

"Good grief, Bercilak, do behave!" Elias scorned again and Chise giggled.

"I found something of yours", Ruth mumbled through gritted teeth as he walked in with a bundle of sticks and dropped them at Bercilak's feet. The bundle got up and looked at the knight then to his axe.

"No sticks in the house!" Chise exclaimed then she realized that it was the creature that had scampered off earlier when Bercilak had been summoned. The Dryad went to grab the axe but Bercilak snatched it up and held it away.

"Please stop trying. It's not yours, now go home", Bercilak warned the little Dryad and its fox mask drooped and it sulked away and out of the room. Everyone looked back to see Silky open the front door then boot it out of the house with a swift kick.

"Well, that was an odd little fellow", Elias said as he turned back to the knight.

"Pesky little thing. It won't leave me and my axe alone", Bercilak said then cleared his nonexistent throat and stood up. "Now, I suppose it's been brief but I feel like I've overstayed my welcome".

"No it's fine, you can stay if you want", Chise said and stood up too.

"I'm afraid I should get back to the other side. I have a duty to uphold", Bercilak explained then his axe disappeared into his cuffs just like how it had appeared. "I appreciate your hospitality, and for that you may keep the Green Horn".

"We can keep it? You made a big deal about destroying all of them last time you-" Elias began to explain but Bercilak shrugged his shoulders.

"I trust you enough, and you make a fair point. I am Protector of the Realms after all", he said then walked out of the sitting room with Elias and Chise close behind. "Just don't let the beast get it this time".

"Are you sure you must be off so soon? I was hoping you could talk to Chise about your travels".

Bercilak put a finger to his chin guard and thought briefly. "Nothing happens in East Anglia and the rest is slightly more eventful. Scotland is cold by British standards. Wales is, well… I'm not sure about Wales and Ireland is extremely magical, also the Fomorians live there. Oh and never go to Scandinavia across the sea, there's Trolls everywhere!"

"Oh, that's- that's not what I was expecting".

Silky appeared from the kitchen and handed Bercilak a basket of scones. "Oh, thank you dear Silver Lady. On behalf of Spriggan I give you his love", he said with a knightly bow. Bercilak turned back to Chise and Elias as he opened the front door.

"Farewell, Bercilak. Do take care", Elias said with a simple nod.

"Goodbye", Chise said with a little wave and a smile. "It was nice to meet you".

"I'm glad to have met the one that has the realms in hushed whispers", Bercilak replied with another bow then he turned and headed out of the door. "Farewell", he said then as he made his way down the path he grumbled under his breath.

"What did he just say?" Chise looked up at Elias and asked.

"He said: 'now I have to walk all the way to Tír na nÓg', I think", Elias said then closed the door as the knight disappeared from sight. "Now, why were you rifling through that secret cupboard?"

"I- um, was looking for a mop?" Chise said and scratched her head. "Ruth suggested it!"

 **THE END**


End file.
